School Related Problems

 

If the school’s consequences for problems are effective, there is no need to
further punish children at home. That would be “double jeopardy.” However,
there are times when parents need to take action.

BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS

When students have persistent difficulties, they may have attention-deficit
hyperactivity disorder, or they may have lost or never had a bond with a
significant caretaker. Older children who show sudden changes in behavior
may have been traumatized or become involved in substance abuse. In
addition to seeking evaluations for such problems, parents can:

• Require daily school reports to stay in close contact with teachers.

• Offer rewards on days when students bring home a good report.

• Withhold privileges (TV, video games, etc.) until an acceptable report
  is brought home.

• Take away important privileges while students are serving out-of-
  school suspensions.

• Write essays about what can be done to prevent further suspensions.

• Investigate medication or herbs for children who may be hyperactive.

HOMEWORK AND POOR GRADES

Ask the school to have children tested for learning disabilities or attention
disorders if academic problems have been present since the third grade or
earlier. You may need to be persistent. Employ any of the strategies below
that are helpful:

• After eating a snack, children should finish homework before
  watching TV or playing.

• Require a study hour until grades improve. If children deny having
  homework, supply your own. Although you can make children sit with
  books, you cannot make them study.

• Require children to bring home a satisfactory daily or weekly school
  report to have evening or weekend privileges. Parents can consider
  shortening restrictions if children are responsible enough to bring
  home a report.

• Arrange rewards for good school reports if this motivates students.

• When parents are engaged in many other power struggles with
  children, it may be best for young people to experience the natural
  consequences of failure until other issues improve.

SKIPPING CLASSES AND TRUANCY

Teens who miss school may be experiencing peer pressure or developing
serious conduct problems. However, anxiety due to panic or fears of looking
foolish can require therapy. It is common for children to have “school
phobia” in fifth through seventh grades due to the transition to larger
schools. Allowing children to avoid school can aggravate problems, so take
immediate action to get them back on track:

• Verify attendance and withhold privileges unless children have been
  in school all day.

• In serious cases, accompany students to school and escort them
  between classes.

• If children refuse to go to school, physically carry them and enlist the
  aid of other adults if needed.

• Do not allow children to stay or come home early unless they have a
  temperature.

SCHOOL REPORTS

Many schools have their own form to communicate with parents when
students are having academic or behavioral problems. If none are
available, parents can use the generic forms below. Minimum standards
can be set for students to gain rewards or to have evening and weekend
privileges:

• Rewards: Stickers, special snack, prize from a grab bag, purchase
  points, money.

• Privileges: Television, video games, telephone use, visiting with
  friends, leaving the house, stereo, CD or cassettes, computer use,
  snacks.

Reference

Miracle Cures by Jean Carper (HarperCollins, 1997), pp. 233–234,
suggests that oligomeric procyanidins (OPCs) in the herbs pycnogenol and
grape seeds may regulate enzymes that control dopamine and
norepinephrine.