Child-Rearing Skills


Child-Rearing Skills Inventory
Directions: Rate how often you use the following skills:  rarely (0 points),
sometimes (1 point), consistently (2 points). Check any skills that you would
like to improve. Focus on one area at a time until you make progress.
 

Cooperation and Rules

• I use deadlines for starting tasks before valued activities that serve
  as incentives requiring cooperation.

• I reinforce deadlines I set by withholding all privileges until the task is
  started and returning them as soon as the task is completed.

• Once I decide on a consequence, I give only one warning before I act.

• I think of a variety of actions to take when rules are broken, rather
  than always using the same consequence.

• I use allowance, purchase points, praise, snacks, and verbal
  recognition to reinforce desirable behavior and reduce the need for
  corrective action.

• I take action to correct my child rather than lecture, nag, plead, or
  yell.

Anger and Attitudes

• When I correct my children, I remember to express confidence that
  they will eventually succeed and point out their past and current
  progress.

• When my children are upset, I persistently feedback and reflect their
  feelings.

• When feeding back my children’s feelings does not calm them, I
  repeat my decision and table discussions until later.

• When my children are upset with me, I make sure that they
  eventually express their feelings to me.

• I avoid arguments by feeding back my children’s viewpoint, rather
  than try to get mine across.

• When I am too upset to understand my child, I suspend all discussion
  until I can listen.

• Sometimes, after feeding back my children’s feelings and
  understanding their point of view, I do not find it necessary to take
  corrective action.

Using Power Wisely

• I stop myself from interfering or taking any action when my children’s
  behavior is not dangerous and affects only themselves.

• When I am uncomfortable with my partner’s child-rearing approach, I
  listen to his or her reasoning and express my own until we reach an
  understanding.