Child-Rearing Skills
Child-Rearing Skills Inventory
Directions: Rate how often you use the following skills: rarely (0 points),
sometimes (1 point), consistently (2 points). Check any skills that you would
like to improve. Focus on one area at a time until you make progress.
Cooperation and Rules
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I use deadlines for starting tasks before valued activities that serve
as incentives requiring cooperation.
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I reinforce deadlines I set by withholding all privileges until the task is
started and returning them as soon as the task is completed.
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Once I decide on a consequence, I give only one warning before I act.
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I think of a variety of actions to take when rules are broken, rather
than always using the same consequence.
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I use allowance, purchase points, praise, snacks, and verbal
recognition to reinforce desirable behavior and reduce the need for
corrective action.
-
I take action to correct my child rather than lecture, nag, plead, or
yell.
Anger and Attitudes
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When I correct my children, I remember to express confidence that
they will eventually succeed and point out their past and current
progress.
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When my children are upset, I persistently feedback and reflect their
feelings.
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When feeding back my children’s feelings does not calm them, I
repeat my decision and table discussions until later.
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When my children are upset with me, I make sure that they
eventually express their feelings to me.
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I avoid arguments by feeding back my children’s viewpoint, rather
than try to get mine across.
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When I am too upset to understand my child, I suspend all discussion
until I can listen.
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Sometimes, after feeding back my children’s feelings and
understanding their point of view, I do not find it necessary to take
corrective action.
Using Power Wisely
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I stop myself from interfering or taking any action when my children’s
behavior is not dangerous and affects only themselves.
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When I am uncomfortable with my partner’s child-rearing approach, I
listen to his or her reasoning and express my own until we reach an
understanding