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In the beginning of a relationship, both partners are leading separate lives 
and have much to share with each other.  Over time, couples often give up 
independent activities.  They may let go of friends and interests and start 
“living for” the other.  When people don’t have some time apart, a marriage 
loses its mystery.  The opposite can also occur: both people may go 
separate ways, and when things are bad, their differences become glaring. 
In addition to the natural forces that can dull relationships, resentments will 
choke the very life out of anything that is left. But love does not have to die. 
There are many things couples can do to rekindle fading embers:

• Heal the resentments that are choking your relationship. Take action 
  to reclaim your power and repeatedly sympathize with any distress 
  your partner feels as a result.  When you can’t resolve conflicts on 
  your own, find help!

• Get a life.  Be sure to have interests or hobbies separate from your 
  partner. Make yourself happy and share what you’ve been doing. 
  Ask yourself, “What would I do if I didn’t spend so much time worrying 
  about my partner?”

• Make separate lists of fun and exciting activities each person would 
  like to do with the other. This can include simple activities such as 
  showering together, massage, walks, or dancing. Do one activity a 
  week, even if you are feeling “lazy.”

• Make separate “caring lists” of things your partner does or used to 
  do that make you feel loved.  Add any behaviors that you’ve always 
  wanted but have never had, such as cards, flowers, little presents, 
  hugs, opening car doors, compliments, holding hands, nonsexual 
  touches, and good-bye kisses.  Romantic gestures are particularly 
  important for helping caregivers find relief from constantly attending 
  to others. The resulting improvement in mood will make romance well 
  worth the effort.

• Perform caring behaviors regularly. They are gifts.  Give them in 
  spite of how you feel about your partner and regardless of the caring 
  that is being shown to you.

• Train your partner to be romantic by showing appreciation of caring 
  and by giving gentle reminders: “Don’t forget my kiss good-bye.” 
  “You don’t know what a relief it was going out tonight.” Even if you 
  have to ask for it, a caring behavior counts. The best way to love 
  someone is tohelp him or her to be successful in loving you.

• Go on weekend getaways to make romantic connections without 
  distractions. Just planning and looking forward to an event can 
  reenergize relationships.

• Make changes that will give your union the balance it needs.  Decide 
  if you need more separation or more togetherness.

• Find a cause that interests you separately or as a couple.  Extending 
  the energy in your relationship beyond yourselves creates “soul 
  mates.”  Political groups, charities, and religious organizations offer 
  “transcendent” opportunities.

• Don’t compare your relationship to movies and dime store 
  romances.  Mature love is more about being comfortable with and 
  enjoying someone than about an all-consuming obsession.  
  Relationships need some common ground, but not a lot. You may 
  have more to share than you realize.

 
Reference
Several of these strategies are adapted from Getting the Love You Want by 
Harville Hendrix (Henry Holt, 1988).